I can hear dogs barking & crickets. The hum of the refrigerator. The clicking of the keys I hit with my fingertips. 5:30 a.m. I am sitting in the kitchen by the sliding glass door to my sister's backyard. The air is still cool. Spike is lying next to his water bowl. Today we leave Fresno. Our destination: Sacramento. I lived there for many years. I lived & worked & drank Downtown. I managed a bookstore there, then a restaurant. I was two people there, like I was always two people. The one I wanted to be & the hidden one. The hidden one was the real one & he devoured the false one. That was where I met Kid Durango & we discussed his movie: The Last Cigarette. I lived on 10th St. & 22nd St. & 26th St. I was living on 22nd St. when my mother died. Then came the madness & the move to 26th St. & that was my last stand in Sacramento & everything fell away from me. From there to here has been a lifetime. I am afraid to return. I am ready to return.

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