I have never seen so many graveyards. @ least 10. That can be taken so many ways. I think that is the fundamental difference in my mind these days. In the past there would be only way to take that. Like when a friend did a tarot reading for me & slapped the Death Card down with finality. I ran from the room in tears. I knew it was the End. & I had brought it on myself, had I not? & these graveyards?  & the army of old men sitting across from us @ Friendly's on holiday from the Old Folk's Home? The crow picking the bones of the crushed raccoon on the side of the road? The mangled deer? The countless furry bodies? The flat baby bird fallen from it's nest & pressed like a rose in the dirt? What is one to think? More selfishly, "What am I to think?" & like an old friend recently asked, "What does it all mean?" The answer is so simple: I do not know. I do not know the REAL answer, or, if there even is one. I can only take events & twist them for my own use. So...my answer looks something like this: It is the End. The death of everything that has come before. Put it all to rest. This has been a eulogy. A final speech & comment on all the shit that I have been dragging around with me. I have let it go. It is buried up on that hill in Binghamton. It is mangled on the side of the road. It is pressed into the dirt like a beautiful rose. Now I can begin.

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